Notes for editing "Lightness"

Talked with David today and went over my bike film, "Lightness", scene by scene to determine what needs to be done for improvement.

Beginning shot with eyes: sightline needs to be controlled, road and lights need to be more visible and match up with where my eyes are looking

Edit out first shot of gears, use only abstract shots of wheels
Right when eyes close, use a rapid vertical wipe to change to the abstract bike shot - should be quick enough to be mainly subconscious
Prolong red face to around thirty seconds. Make fade-out longer to keep some of the red while transitioning to road shot.

Smoke shot: reshoot with vapor? use the same sort of stark black and white background but fade from one to the other with a gradient; use another light to have smoke be more 3D. Background should be textureless.
Maybe have doorway be an integral part of the scene?

Cut out some of the simple "girl on bike" shots.

For the "heavy" shot - zoom in on tire hitting pavement. slow way down, keep monochrome shots with golden hour shadow. Desaturate.

For lift off shot: zoom in tightly on hands, need just that second of the hands coming off the handlebars slowly, then blast out the shot. use reflectors to get enough light on hands.

For shaky shot: use a left to right rocking camera motion rather than in and out.

To come back down: gradually lower luminosity as she lowers her hands back to the handlebars.

Breathe in smoke, breathe out vapor?
Breathe in before letting go of handlebars, breathe out after? or visa versa?